You have your adult children, your parents, your in-laws, and your siblings all planning family gatherings. How do you prioritize family gatherings in a large family?
Your sister hosted the Christmas Day celebration last year and wants to do it again. It’s not fair to others. Unless everyone agrees that her house has the most room and is the most convenient, you need to switch things up and let someone else host this year’s gathering.
Be Considerate of Conflicts
The holidays should be a time for everyone to gather without arguments or hurt feelings. It isn’t always easy to pull that off. There are going to be people who simply cannot get along. While they should act like adults, it’s not always going to happen. You need to plan for that.
If your sister works in a store where your father-in-law is a regular and he is always rude and demanding when he’s there, you can’t expect her to ignore that. It might be better to warn her in advance and see if she still wants to attend. Alternate years so that she’s included one year and he is the next.
For people in your family who do tend to argue, seat them at opposite ends of a table. Make an effort to keep them separated during the gathering to avoid any issues.
Choose a Neutral Setting
Why not have everyone come to a neutral setting? Instead of having four family gatherings at different homes, you could rent a private room in a restaurant. Yes, you will be paying for meals, but you’re not paying for foods and energy when cooking those items. It may end up costing less when you consider all of the expenses for hosting a party.
Consider Your Parents’ Routines
If your parents have a hard time staying up later, any plans that are made must be considerate of their routine. Your brother lives two hours away and wants your parents to come for Christmas. If dinner isn’t ready until 6 p.m., they’d have a two-hour drive ahead of them. If they can’t spend the night, that dinner gathering isn’t ideal.
When you can’t include your parents due to the timing, they could stay at home with caregivers you’ve hired. You could also include caregivers in your gatherings and have their caregivers drive them to and from your home. Call a home care agency to make arrangements.
If you or an aging loved-one are considering hiring Elderly Care in Wilmette, IL, call the caring staff at LifeCare Home Health & In-Home Services. Call (888) 606-4199 LifeCare serves all of the Chicago Metro Area.
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